Eyelids - The Key to a Healthy Relationship

Understanding Eyelids - The Key to a Healthy Relationship

Did I really say that understanding eyelids is the key to a healthy relationship? Yes, I did.

When I teach face reading, I spend a great deal of time explaining the significance of the eyelids. We have a tendency to be attracted to our opposite and when the relationship is new and fresh, those differences are exciting, energizing and even awe-inspiring. When the novelty wears off those attractive traits are annoying, stress-producing and exasperating.

Eyelids have a lot to do with the time it takes to respond. One extreme trait is the eyelid that is exposed. That means that when the eye is open, you can see much of the eyelid and you have a lot of space for makeup. This is someone who is like the Nike ad: "Just do it!" They like direct action and don't spend a lot of time analyzing their feelings. Their goal is to act directly, swiftly and effectively. Sometimes they appear ruthless because of their directness.

The other extreme is the person who has epicanthic folds. The epicanthic fold is the fold of skin which covers the upper eyelid. The eyelid goes up into the eye socket and the flap of skin is all that shows. This is someone who needs to think, intellectually justify and process information before responding. It may appear at first, that they are not listening to you because they are not immediately commenting. They are thinking and if pressured to make an instant decision they will often simply tell you what you want to hear.

My husband and I are textbook opposites when it comes to eyelids. I am the Nike ad with lots of eyelids showing and my husband has epicanthic folds.

Before we had this valuable information about facial structures, we drive each other crazy! I would present an idea or question and want an instant answer or response. I would be met with silence ... which I took personally. I didn't think he was listening or cared to answer. I was SO WRONG. He was thinking. I wasn't giving him enough time to absorb what I said. As a result, he would often tell me what I wanted to hear, just to get me off his back. Off I'd go in a huff.

With the knowledge of the eyelid trait and how each one functions, we now have respect for each others' timing when it comes to decision making. I still would like an instant answer but I am more interested in getting an honest reply. I will say to my husband, "How much time so you need to think about it before you can give me an answer?" He now has the opportunity to think, justify, research and question before giving a considered response.

The two eyelids structures and their functions can be compared to Aesop's fable of the hare and the tortoise. each one has a different response time and speed of action. As life has taught us, learning takes place when we are presented with opposing points of view, challenging situations and people whoa re different than we are. Opposites attract because they can be a tremendous team, sharing complementary skills!

To purchase my book, It's In Your Face, The True You Revealed, contact me at optionstohealth@comcast.net

The Art and Science of Face Reading

The Art and Science of Face Reading

Face reading and discovering one's own innate nature dates back as far as Cro-Magnon cave drawings. Throughout history, reference to facial structures and their corresponding function appear in literature, the arts and medicine. Aristotle was the first person to write a treatise on face reading called Physiognomonica.

From ancient time to the present, face reading has evolved from an art to a science. In the late 1930's Dr. Edward Vincent Jones combined brain and genetic research with the philosophies of physiognomy, the assessment of a person's character based on their facial appearance, and phrenology, the study of human behavior based on the measurements of the human skull, to create personology, the study of facial structures and their corresponding behaviors.

Dr. Jones' work was carried on with a five year research study done by Robert and Elizabeth Whiteside. Their son, Daniel, along with Gordon Stokes and Candace Calloway, refined the information into what is called Structure/Function, the study of how the physical structure of the face, head and body relates to human behavior and function.

Each physical structure is a clue to our innate behavior: who we are, how we relate to others and how individuals see us. Studying facial structures gives us a new perspective on relationships. Respect and understanding is developed for those with whom we want to effectively communicate.

Each individual structure represents one or more of the following:

• A strength;
• An ability;
• An advantage;
• A talent;
• A gift;
• A lesson to be learned.

For example, take the shape of the face. Face shape has to do with self-confidence - innate or learned.

A person with a long, narrow face is by nature cautious. Their confidence and assurance comes from having learned all of the steps sequentially. They experience self-doubt when approaching unfamiliar people and projects. frustration builds with this individual when they are expected to figure something out immediately and without the necessary information. Once they have learned the steps, they have all the confidence in the world.


I always have someone in my workshops who has a long, narrow face. It helps keep me from straying. On the first day of a four day workshop, I asked the class to turn to page 343 in their books. A look of horror came over Lisa (my long, narrow face student). You could see that she was mortified that I not only skipped page one, but also was starting at the back of the book. She was relieved when I asked them to simply take the page out as it was a worksheet for the day!

The opposite face shape is called broad-shield. The width is through the eyes. This person is innately self-confident. They feel that they can handle anything and tend to face challenges head on. They are very direct and will often be in a leadership position. Need a volunteer for a project or committee? Someone with a broad-shield face is likely to jump right in and fill the need. They don't even need to know what the assignment is. Their mind-set is, "I can do anything I put my mind to." They also have a tendency to skips steps in the process, "1, 2 ...6. Who needs steps 3, 4 and 5?"


There are no good or bad traits to have. Each individual's life story is written on their face. All of our experiences, emotional perceptions, natural abilities, communication styles and needs are there for the world to see.