Enhancing Communication with the Understanding of Lip Structures

In most cases, we begin life with full upper and lower lips and a desire and ability to express how we feel about our experiences. It is spontaneous and honest. The child who is allowed to verbalize, express and experience emotion grows up to be an adult with full lips and an ability to be self-expressive. This can take the form of speaking, writing, dancing, performing, drawing, singing and any other creative form of self-expression.

For the person with thin lips, growing up often meant "zipping it", being seen and not heard and feeling like no one was interested in what they felt. It wasn't safe to express feelings. When it came to talking, facts were fine but feelings had to be processed in the mind.

Communication between someone with thin lips and someone with full lips can be challenging. I had the opportunity to witness a conversation between two people who had opposite lip structures. I was presenting a workshop on brain hemisphere integration to parents who home-school their children. Before the talk, the parents held a business meeting.

The president of the group was a woman with extremely thin upper and lower lips. The parent presenting a concern to the group was a woman with extremely full upper and lower lips. They were textbook opposites!

The woman with the full lips talked for over fifteen minutes until interrupted by the president with the thin lips who said, "And the point is?"
The woman with the full lips continued to talk for another ten minutes, until interrupted again by the president who said, "And the point is?"

Needless to say, they were not able to resolve any conflicts that evening because their styles of communication were so different. The president of the group, with thin lips, needed the information to be presented concisely and to-the-point. She wanted to take care of business. The woman with full lips needed to talk in order to discover what she felt the real issue was.

A couple, Cara and Jeff, came to see me because they were having communication problems. The answer was in their lip structures. Jeff and Cara were textbook opposites. Jeff had almost no upper or lower lip and Cara had the fullest lips - Angelina Jolie style.

The interesting piece of the puzzle was that most of their other facial structures, from the lips up, were identical. Pointing that out to them caused them to reflect on the years of enjoyment they had had together. Rather than focus on what was working, they agonized over their communication differences.

As we explored their opposite expressive styles, Cara and Jeff realized that they relied on each others' distinct nature. Cara needed Jeff's ability to see and express the facts based on reflection and consideration and Jeff loved Cara's impulsive emotional reaction to life. They concluded that they didn't want to change the other person. Stress had caused them to deny each others' strengths and differences. By respecting their individual communication style they were able to be a team again.

This week, plan an investigation of your own:

~ Observe the lip structures of people in your life;
~ Look at your own lip structure;
~ Watch the communication styles between people with the same lip structures and those with opposite features.
~ Are you willing to respect different communication styles?
~ Could this information enhance your relationships?

There is no good or bad structure to have. Your life story is written on your face. All of your experiences, perceptions and natural abilities are there for the world to see. What's your story?